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The Midlife Crisis at the Age of 30
What’s a midlife crisis?
Around the age of 30 a person suffers from a “midlife crisis”, a turning point in development related to their conceptions of life that were built between 20 and 30 and don’t satisfy him anymore.
Analyzing the way they have passed, all their achievements and failures, a person sees that even if they have a good family life their personality is not ideal, their life is not perfect, so much time has been wasted, and they have done so little in terms of how much they could have done.
In other words, it is soul-searching. The person looks at himself more critically. They understand they are not able to change anything in their life: education, profession, or lifestyle. The crisis at 30 makes a person want to do something and shows that they go to the new step of their life – adulthood.
Indeed, this crisis is a very obscure term. But sooner or later it will come.
For men it is typical to change their job or lifestyle, however, their concentration on work and career does not change. The most common reasons for leaving an old job are dissatisfaction with the salary, schedule.
But for women during the time of the crisis, it is common to change priorities that were created at the beginning of their adulthood. Women focused on marriage and parenting begin to care about their professional goals. But those who used to spend all the time working very often start to think about marriage and family.
During this period a person looks for a second opportunity to find their place in the world. They want to have a good job and strive for safety and stability. They are sure that they can make all their dreams and hopes come true and go on to work on it.
However, acuteness of the midlife crisis can be different
Some people feel deep internal discomfort, and the process of changing to a very emotional state of mind can lead to a disease. The most common psychological consequences during this period are depression, chronic fatigue, insomnia, increased anxiety, and fear.
At the same time, the midlife crisis can start not only at the age of 30. It can even come in youth sometimes if you don’t have personal development.
Viktor Frankl dedicated his research to the “purpose of life” problem. He wrote: “Nowadays a patient does not suffer from the feeling of inferiority as much as from the deep feeling of loss of the meaning connected with the feeling of emptiness – that’s why I am talking about an existential vacuum”.
Also, the midlife crisis can appear because of the loss of a family, friends, a job; a serious disease.
So, what is the “meaning” of life as a psychological category?
We speak of “meaning” as a psychological phenomenon when goals do not match the motive in an activity. This all means that the problem of the meaning of life emerges when a goal hasn’t been defined properly.
A successful solution to the midlife crisis depends on how efficiently a person solves their development problem.
A person needs to be who they are. A human comes to integrity when love, affection, and deep interests start to determine their personality.
We can talk about harmony with the world, but it’s primary level of motivation when a person has hedonistic orientation, the basic needs of pleasures and entertainment (parasitic existence). But such person’s inner contentment is relative, and a person with a lack of development is prone to satiety. Even one potential, unrealized motive can lead to existential frustration and loss of the meaning of life.
The whole loss of the meaning of life (existential vacuum) is possible when there is no important motive in the life of an individual.
Discussing the motives of the meaning of life, Viktor Frankl points out that the loss of them can lead to alcoholism and drug addiction. The subjective experience of happiness an addict has is identified with implementation experience of the fundamental motive of getting joy and satisfaction. As a psychological phenomenon, alcoholism and drug addiction are identical to exaggerated biological needs like hunger, thirst, the deficit of oxygen.
Physiological activity at the age of 30
The libido of approximately 25% of young women reaches its top by 26-30 and remains at this level till the age of 60. Some women experience the recession of libido at the age of 45-50. On the contrary, men have big sexual appetite till the age of 25-30 years, and it reduces after this time. That’s why a lot of women complain that their husbands have record sexual activity until the age of 30, but during the midlife crisis their sexual activity begins to reduce.
There is such a term as climacteric virile, or male menopause. At the age of 30, there are hormonal changes that prepare a man to this challenge. In women climax affect, first of all, fertility, but in men it starts with the central nervous system. That’s why men become a little bit childish, have strange behavior. All these symptoms are possible to prevent. Such people should have a special diet containing rice, vegetables, fish (no fat and spicy meals). Unfortunately, not every man follows this diet, that’s why you have to change his ration little by little so that he will not be able to see any changes. The vegetable diet should include spinach, celery, and leek (cleans liver and vessels).
It seems that adults grow up from the physiological point of view. But from the point of view of their natural characteristics they can be not very mature and even not know it. Thus, newlyweds that have just created a family (the middle age is about 24 years) are experiencing not just the beginning of a new family life but the critical period of development. As known, the midlife crisis in interpersonal relationships manifests itself in frequent conflicts.
Psychological plan of solving vital problems during midlife crisis entails the art of learning each other and becoming a joint community – a home for two different but united souls. Comprehension of other people and oneself is the permanent existential content of family life. If it corresponds to reality, then a person’s family life becomes rich and eventful.
The midlife crisis: how to reach a solution?
Psychologists suppose that the most important premise of the positive solution of the midlife crisis is the development of your own internal world, appearance, social manifestations. The constructive solution of this crisis leads to the improvement of self-organization and time-planning.
It’s very important for the family to be supportive when a person is going through the midlife crisis. The success of the formation of the family psychological space depends on the understanding how many family members recognize their similarity with other people. This similarity reveals itself primarily in the existence of basic, simple human feelings. Recognizing these feelings at any moment unites a person with others.
Life is never the same, and you’re constantly changing as well. Don’t worry that you don’t have time for everything. It is not possible to do all things at once. You always have a choice! Determine your priorities. Do what you like, and what makes your life happy and rich. Take care of people who are important to you. Support each other, and you will get over everything. Then the midlife crisis will pass, and you’ll be happy again.
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By Maria Shevtsova
Born in Belarus, 1985, a pedagogue and family psychologist. Taking action in support groups organization and social adaptation of the people with mental disorders. Since 2015 is a chief editor of the undepress.net project, selecting the best and up-to-date material for those, who want to get their life back or help someone dear, who got into mental trap.
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